I am sorry I am a little neurotic and random.
I am sorry that I sometimes have a negative view on life.
I am sorry that I didn't do better in college and am now paying for it.
I am sorry that sometimes my low and high blood sugars control my mood.
I am sorry I suffer from depression, a deep silent killer that wears me down daily, I'm sorry.
I am sorry I wasn't strong enough to see as a teen that I was letting diabetes get the better of me, along with everything else that happened in those years.
I am sorry that I find it hard to manage my diabetes.
I am sorry that I am not better at it.
I am sorry that it can consume me on days and exhaust all of my being.
I am sorry that I detach myself from others because I feel they don't understand.
I am sorry that to the above statement I want to finish with the comment, "But, really, unless you're living it, you don't understand."
I am sorry I don't thank those close to me nearly enough for all your help and all you put up with. I'm working on that.
I am sorry my sister feels she will have to donate a kidney to me one day.
I am sorry my Mom cries when talking about the day I was diagnosed and the worry she feels for me every day.
I am sorry I feel so alone and can't reach out to those closest to me and mend that feeling.
I am sorry I never talked to anyone about it and still find it difficult to do so. I am sorry.
Please forgive me; for all this and any future errors or mistakes I may make. I am only a young woman, trying to find her place in this world and work with her disease. Late is better than never, right?
4 comments:
No one is perfect and that's is what is so beautiful about being human. What a boring life you would have if everything were in perfect order and you behaved just so.
Embrace every single flaw you have. Sure, it's a good idea to improve upon things, but don't you dare apologize.
A powerful and gutsy (is it the right spelling?) post. I think any diabetic can sign under it, well at least I would.
Great post. I can co-sign with just about each and every line.
what a powerful entry. I do not personally have diabetes but I watch a little guy that does and he is such a trooper. I admire him so much as I do everyone else that suffers from this. Stay positive and keep learning all you can. Love the post, so open & honest.
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