So this week is a crazy week. Its the week of mid-terms at Century College. I have known about this week for the past 7 weeks but still seem to be a little thrown off by how much really is going on. Let me just rant a little about what is being served this week in the life of Amber.
To begin its the last week of my nursing assistant course and we had our last classroom session Monday night. This morning I had a lab test for my anatomy & physiology class (which I just found out I didn't do so hot on boo!), and in about two hours I have my first of two clinical days needed for the nursing assistant certification. Our clinical is expected to be over with at 11:30 tonight. Tomorrow morning, bright and early, its up and at 'em for A&P at 7:30, off to work until 7, meeting with a study group for A&P at 7:30 until 9:30 although I will probably stay and study solo for another hour just because I really need to get all the study hours that I can. Thursday I have my second day of clinical from 2:30 -11:30pm (the morning which will be spent studying for A&P because on Friday we have our mid-term, also bright and early at 7:30 am. Somewhere between now and Saturday afternoon I also need to write a 4 - 6 page paper analyzing the film Billy Elliot and how it relates to interpersonal communication.
ARRRRGHHHHH!!!!
I feel a little insane today and writing about it really helps, so here I am taking a little breather from studying and running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
Fortunately after this week things will get a lot better for my A&P class; I will have an extra 8 hours a week to devote to studying for it because of the nursing assistant course being over with. Yay! I made it through the first 8 weeks of this semester working full time and trying to do way too much and I am still getting good grades. Here is the concern though, and its always the concern. Diabetes.
I was having a big problem with random lows, and to help with that I dramatically changed my basal rates, and began using the CGMS as much as I can take. I told my doctor I would rather be constantly correcting for a high than worrying about a low. And of course it seems like that has been whats going on. I have been correcting highs, not having very many lows. Now when I say "highs" I don't mean in the 300's or even the upper 200's. But there have definately been more low 200s and upper 100s glucose test results than I'd prefer, and I am worried that my A1c will be back over 7 where I don't want it to be. I will find out at the end of the month what the past semester and basal rate change has done to my A1c. I know if its over 7 I can get it back down. I guess I just want to know that I can manage a hectic life for a short period of time and somehow, maybe with a little bit of magic, keep my diabetes in good control.
I have always been really bad at keeping it controlled under a lot of stress and have always wondered how other T1 diabetics managed life and college and diabetes. Did you give up something, take a lighter course load, work fewer hours? How did you cope? How did you manage it??
I don't know; it isn't really bad. I am not falling into a depression or crying spells, but I can't deny the pessure and mild panic I feel right now.
A lot of the coping strategies I am using I often wish I had the wisdom to use them first time around when I started college right out of high school: know when to ask for help, know my limits, and never, ever let diabetes get the better of me. If its one bad day of blood sugars remind myself that it can be managed, and tomorrow will be better. And its OK that things don't go as planned.
So here's to good studying the next few days! And if anyone has suggestions of what got you through the crazy times in life for you please let me know!
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
3.11.2008
1.18.2008
whew, what a ride!
This week started my first week back to college for Spring semester. Already I feel a mess. My sleep schedule is all off, my work week is different from what it's been for four and a half months and all of this shows in my mood and my work performance. It hasn't hit my diabetes, yet.
And thats the thing about diabetes isn't it? So often I feel like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop and cause complete and utter chaos in my life.
I feel like I try to explain that to people and it doesn't sink in. I can be on top of my school work, getting to work, doing well in all other areas of my life despite the sleep deprivaton and I can rest assred that at least those things I am on top of. But diabetes, that tricky little bastard, I never feel that way with it. I never feel like it will be okay, and in fact it only feels more out of control as my stress level goes up (even if that isn't true).
It taunts me in my sleep telling me to get up and treat a low, at work after a stressful call sent my sugar went from 130 to 190 in minutes with no food or drink, as I am leaving work and dropping because I studied over lunch instead of ate, it just taunts me and wears on me and makes all that other stress seem so much worse than it really is.
So often I hear from people with type 2 say, "It doesn't really affect me much. I take my pills/shots, maybe I drink more or pee more but thats it." and I get quizzical looks as to why diabetes, of all things, drives me to tears, anger and exhaustion when its just an extra trip to the bathroom for some. I just want to say at the top of my lungs, "TYPE ONE IS DIFFERENT THAN TYPE TWO! COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!"
I do wonder what it would be like having type two. I am sure that there are a whole new set of concerns and complications that I'm ignorant to. I still feel alone with my disease and frustrated at my battles being identified as the same battles as a person with type two. So it goes, the constant battle for understanding, but I digress...
This morning at 9am after class I felt on top of the world and thought that maybe I could really do this crazy work and school schedule afterall. Then started the high/low hills and emotionally I've hit bottom even while my blood sugar runs high.
Whew. Now that I've ranted a bit I do feel better. Isn't that strange how typing about a bad or stressful day can feel so good?
Love it while it lasted. Thats what I did for three wonderful weeks after finals. LOVED the reduction of stress, the increase of sleep, the feeling that I can be a good employee again. The feeling I can even be a good student as I got great grades last semester (yay!). It was wonderful, but it didn't last. Boo.
Yawn. Work day is wrapping up and with school this morning it has been a long day. Nite folks.
And thats the thing about diabetes isn't it? So often I feel like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop and cause complete and utter chaos in my life.
I feel like I try to explain that to people and it doesn't sink in. I can be on top of my school work, getting to work, doing well in all other areas of my life despite the sleep deprivaton and I can rest assred that at least those things I am on top of. But diabetes, that tricky little bastard, I never feel that way with it. I never feel like it will be okay, and in fact it only feels more out of control as my stress level goes up (even if that isn't true).
It taunts me in my sleep telling me to get up and treat a low, at work after a stressful call sent my sugar went from 130 to 190 in minutes with no food or drink, as I am leaving work and dropping because I studied over lunch instead of ate, it just taunts me and wears on me and makes all that other stress seem so much worse than it really is.
So often I hear from people with type 2 say, "It doesn't really affect me much. I take my pills/shots, maybe I drink more or pee more but thats it." and I get quizzical looks as to why diabetes, of all things, drives me to tears, anger and exhaustion when its just an extra trip to the bathroom for some. I just want to say at the top of my lungs, "TYPE ONE IS DIFFERENT THAN TYPE TWO! COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!"
I do wonder what it would be like having type two. I am sure that there are a whole new set of concerns and complications that I'm ignorant to. I still feel alone with my disease and frustrated at my battles being identified as the same battles as a person with type two. So it goes, the constant battle for understanding, but I digress...
This morning at 9am after class I felt on top of the world and thought that maybe I could really do this crazy work and school schedule afterall. Then started the high/low hills and emotionally I've hit bottom even while my blood sugar runs high.
Whew. Now that I've ranted a bit I do feel better. Isn't that strange how typing about a bad or stressful day can feel so good?
Love it while it lasted. Thats what I did for three wonderful weeks after finals. LOVED the reduction of stress, the increase of sleep, the feeling that I can be a good employee again. The feeling I can even be a good student as I got great grades last semester (yay!). It was wonderful, but it didn't last. Boo.
Yawn. Work day is wrapping up and with school this morning it has been a long day. Nite folks.
11.06.2007
Sensor, sensor, updates
I placed my order for sensors three weeks ago and they finally arrived this morning, yay! While its going on two months being on the CGMS it doesn't feel like it, because I've been spacing out using the sensors for the very reason above, they are always on back order. Its also nice to have only one site on my body to worry about instead of two. With a new box of ten sensors I am good for at least six weeks unless I decide to wear the CGM all the time.
Even though this little device is so new to my diabetes care I was jumping and shouting for joy when I saw the sensor delivery box at my door. There is something relieving having this hooked up, like I don't have to worry as much about lows in the morning or swings during the day because all I need do is take a quick peek at the menu and see whats going on with my sugars. The biggest down fall with it is that sometimes it just doesn't catch a quick rise or drop in glucose. Like two Sunday's ago when two hours after eating I was in the 500's, what did the sensor tell me then? 220. In a situation like this Borat would have a blast yelling "NOT" at my pump screen and poor body.
As it turns out from the time I tested that Sunday morning and ate lunch, my site some how kinked and I wasn't getting the bolus that should have covered my lunch, and lord knows about the basal but that was probably null and void too. Can sleeping on your infusion site (if its in your thigh) cause the cannula to kink? Because I will go one, two days with everything fine only to wake up one morning, eat something and shoot up higher can be only to discover a kink.
Hmmm, yea I don't know but aside from kinks the CGMS seems to really help with blood sugar swings. A part of me asks, "Does it really help, or do I just feel like it does because its something I can control that helps me control my diabetes?" I almost feel a little like a control freak! HaHaHa, nah if I were I wouldn't have eaten candy nearly every day for the last two weeks, damn Halloween... I just like the technology that allows this type of control and aids in management.
Changing thoughts now, I am hopefully trying out a new site area for the second time with the sensor, my thigh. It worked pretty well last time around, and I was able to get six days out of the sensor before it was torn out between charges of the transmitter. So we'll see how it goes this time.
Also, I keep telling myself to become more active and am thinking of getting some good work out play lists created, any suggestions of music that keeps you up and running and active?
Lastly, I have my school schedule figured out for the next year and hopefully by this time next year I will be able to confidently say I am a candidate and good competitor for acceptance into the nursing program. Until I can get accepted into the program I am taking the pre-requisites part time so I can work as much as possible. Planning my schedule helps keep me feel better about all of this work/school/diabetes/life management. So far, this semester is going smoothly, but I always get a little panicky around test time or when a big paper is due. Its getting better though, and I am definitely learning how to manage my time better and stay ... less stressed. Calm I am still working on but its getting there!
So, until tomorrow night then, Adieu.
Even though this little device is so new to my diabetes care I was jumping and shouting for joy when I saw the sensor delivery box at my door. There is something relieving having this hooked up, like I don't have to worry as much about lows in the morning or swings during the day because all I need do is take a quick peek at the menu and see whats going on with my sugars. The biggest down fall with it is that sometimes it just doesn't catch a quick rise or drop in glucose. Like two Sunday's ago when two hours after eating I was in the 500's, what did the sensor tell me then? 220. In a situation like this Borat would have a blast yelling "NOT" at my pump screen and poor body.
As it turns out from the time I tested that Sunday morning and ate lunch, my site some how kinked and I wasn't getting the bolus that should have covered my lunch, and lord knows about the basal but that was probably null and void too. Can sleeping on your infusion site (if its in your thigh) cause the cannula to kink? Because I will go one, two days with everything fine only to wake up one morning, eat something and shoot up higher can be only to discover a kink.
Hmmm, yea I don't know but aside from kinks the CGMS seems to really help with blood sugar swings. A part of me asks, "Does it really help, or do I just feel like it does because its something I can control that helps me control my diabetes?" I almost feel a little like a control freak! HaHaHa, nah if I were I wouldn't have eaten candy nearly every day for the last two weeks, damn Halloween... I just like the technology that allows this type of control and aids in management.
Changing thoughts now, I am hopefully trying out a new site area for the second time with the sensor, my thigh. It worked pretty well last time around, and I was able to get six days out of the sensor before it was torn out between charges of the transmitter. So we'll see how it goes this time.
Also, I keep telling myself to become more active and am thinking of getting some good work out play lists created, any suggestions of music that keeps you up and running and active?
Lastly, I have my school schedule figured out for the next year and hopefully by this time next year I will be able to confidently say I am a candidate and good competitor for acceptance into the nursing program. Until I can get accepted into the program I am taking the pre-requisites part time so I can work as much as possible. Planning my schedule helps keep me feel better about all of this work/school/diabetes/life management. So far, this semester is going smoothly, but I always get a little panicky around test time or when a big paper is due. Its getting better though, and I am definitely learning how to manage my time better and stay ... less stressed. Calm I am still working on but its getting there!
So, until tomorrow night then, Adieu.
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