4.24.2009

Terrified

I have an endo appointment later today and just got done uploading my pump to the CareLink site. I like to use the reports that can be generated there, they do an awesome job of showing trends, especially with the sensor. So, after uploading my devices and reviewing my reports I was very disappointed to see that my average glucose is floating between 170 and 190 for the last 2 to 12 weeks. More than disappointed. Terrified. And pissed. With all the lows I have been having the past 3 months you'd think that I would at least have kept my average the same as it was before - 150ish. But no.

Later today is when I will have the blood drawn for the A1c and I will get the result during my appointment. I am trying not to tell myself it will be terrible, but I have a feeling it will be. According to this online calculator (that I got from Kerri's page, thanks!) my A1c will be between 7.6 and 8.2. Ughh. Not what I wanted. Not what I hoped for.

And I just don't get it. I don't get what I am doing wrong. I know there are things I can do better, but I didn't realize that in not doing those things better I would bump my A1c up so easily in the course of 3 months. Uggg. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it. Or maybe that's the creamer in my coffee kicking in and churning my stomach. I don't know.

A part of me feels like the increased average is due to my harder attempt at working out. Because when I work out I HAVE to raise my blood sugar to at least 180 so I don't drop low during the workout. Sometimes I have raised it too high and finished a workout with my glucose in the 190s. But that only happened a few times, usually I am right at 100 or less post workout. And....

And I just don't GET IT! How am I supposed to work out but keep my blood sugar from dropping? And don't say to suspend the pump because I learned quickly that this only leads to extreme highs 2 hours post work out. Reducing my basal rates before/during exercise does something similar only I don't spike quite as high.

(If you can't tell this is the pissed side coming out)

So, here I am stuck. Not sure how to do this diabetes and workout thing right. And probably with a worse off A1c because of it. Damn.

2 comments:

George said...

I really try to look at my A1C as just a number. Exercising, eating right, and checking your BG is about all anyone could ask for! You are doing awesome.

I wish I had better words for you but it's hard because this disease is hard, and it does not play fair just like you say about having to raise your BG just to exercise. That seems like total BS, which it is.

Stay strong.

Scott K. Johnson said...

Hang in there. Diabetes is an art more than a science.

The exercise thing is always such a challenge, but stick with it. Trial and error is the only way to figure out what works for you.

I have to lower my basal rate before basketball at least two hours before I start, then I ramp it back up during (so I'm not high later). But even after doing the same thing so many times, there are days it just doesn't work out.

I think the key is to just keep on trying. Which is hard, because it's frustrating.

You can do this.