So its a new year and a new decade. Last year was a tough one for me. I started a new job working overnights at a hospital. I left the nursing home a month after that. I found out I made it into the nursing program at Century College (Yay, but still stress none the less). I went to Colorado and upon return moved out from the apartment with Jason and back to the town home shared with my sister, nephews and her fiancee, which led to the end of our relationship.
I started nursing school devastated and stressed and continued working overnights while trying to make it to morning classes which didn't fair well for me. I made a huge decision to move to a casual or "on call" position with the hospital thus loosing my qualification for benefits in 2010 and making finances a bit unsure too. I went hiking in Aizona.
Lastly I finished up the semester having to appeal my right to continue due to turning in a late assignment that was required (had I just turned it in or even talked to my instructor about it the whole situation could have been avoided, alas). My grades weren't in question it was my ability to be punctual with turning in my assignments, and I was terrible at that. Thankfully they approved me to continue on to second semester and advised me that late assignments wouldn't be tolerated any more.
After all of that, I randomally decided to visit my father and half-sister who I hadn't seen in four years and an old friend who I hadn't seen in twelve years. On the way out of Jamestown, ND where my family is, I landed in a ditch managing to take off my passenger side mirror and dent the passenger door, JOY!
Christmas was delightful with family and friends. New Years Eve was awesome with close friends and fun new people. New Years Day started with a five hour conversation on life, religion, and the meaning of it all in the wee hours of the morning then a nap, and relaxing and watching movies.
My A1c started 2009 at 7.3, and went down in August to 7.0, but back up to 7.3 in October and up still to 7.8 on December 31st. I managed to drop a few pounds, but that could have been due to stress and not my good decisions or habits.
In many ways I'm not sure how to feel about 2009. It was simply a bad year, a very emotional one filled with highs and lows. I only hope I can keep on trucking to make 2010 a better one. Fall in love with things that make me happy, don't doubt myself because that's the start of a whole slew of problems and depression, accept my flaws and embrace my strengths, and above all, KEEP TESTING. Even when I don't want to, even when I have nightmares where I am forced to test ten times an hour for days on end, even when I know the reading won't be what I want it to be, TEST. Because only testing will keep my diabetes in control, and only testing often will keep me healthy enough to live the life I want, even if right now is not what I want I don't want to kill my chances for tomorrow.
Even if today or yesterday sucked, tomorrow is still new and glistening. Waiting...